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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, rendering him especially susceptible to negative feedback from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having already reached that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, due to widespread prejudice linked to the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in NPD Presentation

While three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be linked to early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his GP, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the development of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number